Dr. Appt

I went to the dr today because I wanted to make sure that they twins did not have thrush/yeast since I am having such a horrible time getting rid of it in me. It makes nursing incredibly painful. I have been on 5 rounds of diflucan with no results. I'm now on the 6th round and we're making it a double.

So, the dr. saw no evidence. I wanted to treat them anyways, but he did not take too kindly to my idea. So conservative.

However, the dr. did give me a prescription for zantac for Henry's reflux. Hopefully we will see an improvement in the spit up and fussiness. At least I got one problem solved and that makes me feel a little bit better since I had to pay $50 for their co-pay. I feel like I get jipped because they are two patients, but they don't take any extra time with them, just extra money.

We also have to go have an x-ray. The dr. wants to make sure that Henry's head is closing or not closing at the right speed. He is concerned that it is closing to quickly in the back of his skull. I pray all is okay.

Hungry Babies

This is what it looks like every time before I feed them.

Eight Weeks

Our babies are eight weeks!

Henry weighs 8 lbs 8 oz

Mary Catherine weighs 7 lbs 13 oz

In seven days they have gained 7 oz which is exactly what they are supposed to do. Even gaining a 1/2 oz per day is fine, but they are doing better than that with gaining one ounce a day.

I think Henry would be further ahead, but his spitting up is so terrible. We go to the dr. next week and I will address this with them. I pray we don't have to jump through a bunch of hoops. I am not normally a pro-medication person when I can just stick it out, but it is frustrating when I'm counting every gram and he's spitting up like a geyser.

They are both starting to smile more and more. Of course, they make me out to be a liar every time because they are smiling at me, but when I call Jason over, they go straight faced. They are such good babies. They melt my heart when they look up at me, especially now because they are really looking at me and tracking me around the room.

Counting It All Joy

Things are going well for the most part. The twins have been nursing exclusively for over a week now. My supply is going well. I only pump twice a day; after the last night feeding and then in the middle of the night when they get a bottle. I pump after the last night feeding because I am not going to nurse anytime soon after and it gives me extra milk to store.

I am having another issue right now that is quite painful. Actually the most painful thing I have experienced in my life. A couple of days after I stopped pumping I got a clogged milk duct. I think it's because I was somewhat engorged. I had been pumping 6-8 times a day and then I went to pumping twice a day.

The clogged milk duct was very painful. I put a hot tea bag on it, took a shower and put the hot sprayer on it and I tried pumping, but nothing worked. Finally, the next feeding Henry was able to break it free. However, as either a result of the clogged duct, or the yeast issue that I have had for the last month, I have a milk blister. Ouch.

When Henry nurses it's like having my body part in a vice and the vice is ripped from my body and thrown against the wall, over and over, while it's still attached.

As if the milk blister wasn't painful enough, I also have bleeding and cracking going on.

Seriously?

I am dreading nursing right now. It builds anxiety in me because I know the pain will be so bad. I am taking around the clock Motrin and have been for days and days. Yesterday it was so bad that I actually took some medicine I had leftover from my delivery. I only took one then, but I have already taken two doses because of this situation. This morning I actually took 1/2 of the dose because yesterday when I took it I fell asleep in like five minutes and barely made it to church.

The Lord will be glorified through this situation. It is only by His grace that I continue to move forward with nursing. I pray for healing and success with this situation. I don't know how long I will be able to provide enough milk for the babies, but as long as I have milk they will nurse.

On a side note, the twins will be 8 weeks on Wednesday! If I can find my battery charger I will take some pictures.

Weight

I weighed the twins tonight in a dry diaper before I bathed them.

Mary Catherine~ 7 lbs 6 oz

Henry~ 8 lbs 1 oz

We have had good feedings all day long today! Yay! It takes about 45 mins to nurse them, but I am not complaining. We have to switch back and forth a few times to make sure that Henry gets enough. This last feeding at 7 pm, MC got almost her whole feeding done in less than 15 mins. I just keep her going so that she's not crying.

I need to ask the LC, but maybe someone else knows so I will ask it here too. Mary Catherine's poop is sometimes green and grainy instead of mustard yellow and grainy. I've read that sometimes that means that she's getting too much foremilk and not enough hind milk. I know that she is getting hind milk because of how much she's drinking, but maybe I'm wrong.

I pray it continues to go well tonight at 10 pm and for the next 10 months! Hee-Hee.

Praise!

I just had to write that this last feeding at 10 am went perfectly.

Both babies got over 3 oz. I ended up having to switch Henry over to Mary Catherine's side at the end because that side makes more, but that's okay. I switched her over to his side just to keep her busy even though she didn't need any more.

I don't realize how much stress this causes me every three hours until something like this happens and I feel so relieved. So much of my day is consumed with their feedings and weight gain. I wouldn't trade it, but it is stressful. I cannot imagine having to deal with a more serious issue with them. I really feel for families that have that in their lives.

Update on Progress

For the last three or four days I have been nursing the twins without the SNS tubing. I am not sure at this point if it was the right decision. I just felt like based on my documentation that the twins were getting lazy with nursing with the tubing. Instead of making progress of drinking less out of the SNS bottle and more from me, they were reversing that trend. They would suck and suck and then let the tubing kind of drizzle in their mouths. And with nursing, you get the best results when they suck continuously.

Yesterday I spoke with the Lactation Consultant about how things were going. We talked through a short term plan that includes the following.

• I will stop pumping except when I give the twins a bottle instead of nursing, like in the middle of the night. We are hoping it will make it so that I'm more full at the beginning of the feeding. The body is supposed to be supply and demand but two hours may have not been enough time to replenish the supply. We're going to try it for a couple of days and see if my supply stay up.

• I will continue to weigh the twins before and after each feeding.

• I will also weigh the twins (in just a dry diaper) each day at the same time to check their weight gain.

If the twins do not get what they usually do when they nurse, I will give them a bottle (of expressed milk) after the feeding to make up the difference. The lactation consultant was not thrilled about this idea and said that 'by the book' they encourage the SNS tubing to avoid the nipple preference issue, but she said that you cannot ignore what the mother observes about her children.

So, basically if I think they are being lazy with the SNS based on my documentation of their intake then we have to work through this another way. Also, I told her that the babies will be getting bottles regardless, so it is not as if I was going to eliminate them all together. They get a bottle in the middle of the night (of expressed milk) and on Sundays at church.

When we use a bottle in the middle of the night it is so much faster because I don't have to weigh them before and after and they drink it faster. Instead of being up for over an hour, we can be back in bed in less than 30 mins. We also know how much they get and don't have to wonder if they are a little fussy if it's because they are still hungry. We can let them fuss their way to sleep without concern of hunger. Thankfully Jason still is willing to help me with their feedings so that I don't lose so much sleep.

I'm not used to having to nurse for 30-45 mins. My other three children were very efficient nursers and were done within 10-15 minutes so I never used bottles. Of course, they weren't sharing a milk supply either.

I'll let you know how it goes over the next few days. Already this morning Henry had to have an ounce in a bottle after nursing for almost an hour. He drank 2 oz, but is usually content with 3 oz, so I gave him the extra oz in a bottle. He subsequently spit up most of the extra ounce, so I don't know if it was worth it. Mary Catherine drank 2 1/2 oz within 30 minutes.

Whoever is on the 'good' side usually has no trouble getting their fill because the milk comes faster. Since Henry's suck is better I put him on the slow side. I figure he can work for it. Eventually he'll get it.

Please continue to pray for us. We are thankful for your prayers. We give the Lord the glory for any improvement we have with the twins.

Six Weeks

Mary Catherine weighs 7 lbs 1 oz & Henry weighs 7 lbs 13 oz at six weeks old

I am still dealing with nursing issues. I need to touch base with the LC to discuss where they are at this point and get more advice, encouragement, guidance, etc...

The frustration at this point is that they nurse with the SNS tubing and get 2 oz from that, and about one more from me. After they eat, I pump and get at least 2 oz, so I have plenty of milk, it's just that they are not accessing it from some reason.

I could be off base, but I feel like the SNS is kind of making them lazy a little, now they their suck is getting better. They are both latching on okay. Their suck could be better, but I feel like it would get stronger if they had to work a little harder to get the milk. The tubing isn't difficult and it practically falls into their mouth. Sometimes it actually comes out too fast and they choke.

So tonight I decided they were going to nurse with nothing attached. I pumped afterwards and got about an ounce or a little more from each side. Mary Catherine did well and got her fill pretty quickly b/c I put her on the 'good' side. Everyone who has ever nursed knows you have a good side that produces more than the other side. My good side produces about half to one ounce more.

I kept switching Henry from side to side to get him his fill. I think he ended up with about 3 oz, but he spits up so much that he might have wanted more but by then he had nursed for over 30 mins and he was tuckered out.

I weigh them before they eat and after so that I can see exactly how many mL they get for my peace of mind.

Wish me luck. (really prayers, b/c I don't believe in luck.)

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back...

Well, I finally got the scale from the LC.

Once again, not good news. Henry's suck is not as good as I thought and he is not drinking enough from me.

This is quite disappointing. I had already gone back to feeding them at the same time and was enjoying the fact it goes a bit faster that way.

Now I am attempting to continue to feed them at the same time, but now they both have the SNS tubing to deal with as well. It does not go easily all the time because I don't have a free hand, so if they pull off then I have try to direct their heads to latch back on while also making sure the tiny tubing lines up into their mouths as well. While at the same time making sure the other twin doesn't pop off.

I would have to say that I am discouraged. I pray that as they grow bigger this improves. It certainly helps to have the scale because we can see how milk they drink from the SNS and how much they drink from me. It just adds one more thing to this circus I call life.

I think the thing that is so frustrating is that I know I have plenty of milk, but they can't seem to access it. I do think the balance between feeding them and pumping is tricky. I am not sure that my body is having enough time to refill to a level that they want. However, I can't stop pumping until they are nursing exclusively or I won't have anything to put in the SNS bottle. Also, I can't risk lowering my milk supply. I'm up to 2-4 oz per side depending on how well they eat. According to the scale they only take in about one ounce so if I were to stop pumping then my supply will adjust to only making one ounce every 3 hours and that would definitely not work.

It makes my head hurt.

I have not spoken with the consultant again since I learned that Henry's intake was less than we thought. However, when I spoke with her the other day she was so encouraging and said that no matter how this ends up that I was such a trooper. She said that she was going to use me as the 'example' when other moms were whining about nursing one baby that was issue free. (her words, not mine) She thinks they will eventually get it because of my perseverance. I can be quite stubborn I suppose. This is one of those instances that parents of stubborn children are thankful for because don't we all say, "She so stubborn, but hopefully that trait will help her when she grows up in some way."

It really helps me to know that people are praying for the twins and their growth. I pray that I keep my cool and think about the big picture. They nurse for a year, so a couple of months of headache is worth it.

Henry's Praise

Yesterday afternoon I forgot to pump after a feeding, so by the next feeding I was quite full and for the first time, Henry nursed without any assistance from the SNS tubing.

YAY!

So, I decided to try it again at the 7ish/8ish feeding. He nursed and didn't fuss, but would not take a good nap after that feeding. I'm not sure if it's because he didn't get enough or if it was just a bad nap.

At the 10:30/11 pm feeding I gave him a bottle of expressed milk because by that time I'm practically a zombie and I don't have the energy to deal with nursing. I also gave him at bottle at the 3 am feeding.

After each of those feedings, I pumped, like normal.

So, this morning at 6:30 am, it had been 3 hours since I pumped, so I decided to try to nurse him again unassisted. He did well and slept well. I thought that at the 9:30 am feeding that I might be low b/c I pumped after the last feeding, but I had enough that he ate and was content afterwards. He even spit up a bunch, so hopefully that's a good sign.

My nursing experience with these twins is totally different. With my other children when I would nurse I would have to wear nursing pads because I would leak and I would get engorged in between feedings, but it's not that way with the twins. I never ever leak. I don't know if it's because I'm completely draining myself with the pumping or what.

Well, after Henry's first unassisted nursing, I called the LC because I wanted to ask her about pumping and nursing. The problem that I face is that by the time I'm done nursing both of the babies it has been an hour and half because I nurse them separately at this point. So then I pump, only to start over again in another hour and a half to two hours, depending on when they wake up. They wake themselves, I usually do not wake them. I would wake them every 3-4 anyway because the LC said it is very important with twins to keep my milk up and consistent.

So, I feel like my body is not having enough time to refill. I know that I always have some milk, but I need enough that Henry is not frustrated. However, if I stop pumping and find out he's not getting enough then I will mess up the supply that I've worked so hard to maintain.

The plan at this point is to meet with the LC sometime this week and rent a digital scale from her. I will weigh Henry before each nursing and after to see if he's getting enough. If he is getting enough, then I will stop pumping on his side and only pump on Mary Catherine's side.

I'm very encouraged by Henry's progress. He's 5 weeks today. I am thankful for your prayers. I can totally see the Lord's hand in all of this. Please pray for his continued progress and for Mary Catherine's. I don't think she really nurses at all yet. She basically drinks her milk via the SNS tubing while 'nursing'. We're praying for her suck to improve!

Some Praises...

Some praises to share~

My milk is doing better. I actually have a little bit in the refrigerator, so I'm ahead a feeding or two.

Henry seems to be doing better. There's no way to know for sure, without a digital scale to weigh him before and after feedings. However, the LC told me that when I saw that he was leaving some milk in the SNS bottle it probably meant that he was pulling more milk from me. So, the last couple of times Henry has left half of the SNS bottle. So, either he is eating less or he's getting better with his latch and suck.

Mary Catherine is the same. Her suck is terrible and she drains the entire SNS bottle so I know she's not pulling from me at all.

Please continue to pray that both of the babies would nurse exclusively~no gadgets, no pumps, no bottles necessary.

I thank you for the prayers. Things are improving!

La Leche League

I went to the local La Leche League meeting today.

I was hoping that someone there had experience with what we're going through, but no such luck.

It was a good meeting and there were lots of moms there, but I doubt I'll go back.

I'm just not the type of mother that is cut out for that kind of breastfeeding.

You know, the kind that advocates walking around the house shirtless while holding your naked nursing baby so you can have skin to skin contact while you do the dishes.

Also, I'm not for nursing much past the age of one. I believe if your child can tie his own shoes, he should no longer be nursing.

I know that might make some of you mad, and I'm okay with that, because we're all different.

And yes, both of those examples were witnessed today at my meeting...

Milk is Up

I've been taking Fenugreek for the last few days. The LC said to take 3 pills 3x a day. I am happy to say that my milk production is up a bit. It's about 1/2 oz to 1 oz more. It doesn't sound like much, but they only drink 2-3 oz per feeding, so that makes a difference.

Praise the Lord.

Thank you for praying. I know you are praying and I'm thankful.