Naptime Story

Right now we are in Charlotte, so the twins are sharing a pack and play again for the first time in a couple of months. 

Yesterday, I went to put Henry in after Mary Catherine and she looked up and smiled at him with the biggest grin!  It was as if she was saying, "Hi!  Are you sleeping with me?  Yay!"  Henry smiled right back at her.  It was so sweet. 

About 30 minutes later, I can still hear Mary Catherine, which is unusual.  She started crying so I went up and checked on her.  I look in the crib and found Henry sound asleep, but with Mary Catherine's pacifiers on his side of the crib!  Poor Mary Catherine had no pacifiers and could not go to sleep. 

That little stinker had taken them from her even though he sucks his thumb! 

Henry's First Tooth

I discovered Henry's first tooth breaking through his bottom gum tonight.  This explains why his naps have been kind of pathetic the last few days.  I would post a picture, but yeah, right!  Once it's in all the way I might be able to get one.

Yuck.

I attempted to feed the twins some baby oatmeal. 

Henry did not like it.  He kept letting it pool in his mouth. 

Eventually he would spit it out. 

By the end, his eyes were red rimmed from all the crying. 

Mary Catherine did not like it either.  

However, she was more polite. 

When I gave her some she would shudder and then try her best to smile up at me. 

Six Months~December 3rd

The twins are six months! Aren't they so adorable?!? We just love them so much.  The girls continue to enjoy spending time with the twins.  They want to get them out of their cribs after their naps every single day, several times a day.  Since the twins have become more lively and interactive, Jackson is enjoying making them laugh.  They think he is so funny!  

We went to the doctor the other day and got shots.  The twins' stats are as follows:
Mary Catherine: 12 lbs 10oz (4%) and 25 in. (25%)  Henry: 13 lbs 6.5 oz (<3%) 25.5 in. (25%)

The doctor said they had dropped a bit on their curves, but she wasn't concerned because by looking at them she could tell they weren't 'wasting away'.

Mary Catherine has a bit of chub to her, but Henry is lean.  He reminds me of Jackson's build.

I am constantly dealing with my milk supply, but unless the babies are fussy or appear hungry I am okay with them being a little leaner and having breast milk instead of being chubbier on formula.  My milk might go out next week and then they would get formula, but until that happens we will nurse.

I know that nursing them is truly a blessing from the Lord.  It was a great struggle for many months, as you can read about here, but for the last few months it has been going well.  It has increased my prayer life in that area and my dependency on the Lord.

I don't know how much longer I will be able to nurse and I don't know why my supply is low this week.  Recently, I lost a few pounds, so maybe that's why.  I guess I'll just have to stay chubby until June...Darn.

Henry Rolled Over

I heard screaming from the living room and went in there to see that Henry had rolled over from his back to his belly for the first time.  Poor guy had his arms trapped under him and he was flopping around like a fish out of water. 

He's been doing belly to back for many months. 

All is well here.  Be on the lookout for Thanksgiving pictures in another week. 

Smooth Sailing...For Now...

Life has been wonderfully predictable and uneventful lately!  I like the feel of a smooth sailing ship.

A few updates on the twins.  Henry is definitely a thumbsucker, specifically his left thumb.  I gave his doggy pappies to Mary Catherine.  She now has four to choose from while she sleeps.  It's funny to me when I go to get her up and she has a different pappy in than when I put her down.  I love those wubbanubs!  It's fabulous that a five month old can put her own pacifier in her mouth. 

They are doing well sleeping in separate pack and plays in Jack's room.  Jackson almost never wants anything from his room because he rarely plays with toys, so it works well.

Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment!

Kerrigan reads and plays with the babies every day at 11 am.  Today she read Magic Tree House to Mary Catherine.  Mary Catherine tried to grab the book the entire time, but Kerrigan didn't mind.  Kerrigan is so sweet and patient with the babies. 

Jackson likes to lie under the jungle gym with the babies.  He was reading a book to MC.  I tried to get the photo when MC was holding one side and he was holding the other while he was reading, but Jack wouldn't cooperate. 

Jason came in carrying both of the babies this morning, so I had to take a picture!

I LOVE MY BABIES!

Thumbsucking

Henry might be a thumbsucker. 

Just this week we finally did away with the swaddling.  He was physically too big for it and it was causing more grief than relief.  It took him a few nights to get used to sleeping with his arms out, but we are all good now. 

They are back sleeping in the same crib. We have been separating them at night because of this time change issue and Henry's arms out issue.  Each one of them kept waking up around 5:30 am on different days and waking the other one up too.  Since I let them cry it out to go back to sleep that is easier when it's just one instead of two.  Last night they slept together and MC woke up early and I put her pappy back in and she went back to sleep without waking Henry.  I think we are back on track for the most part. 

So, back to the thumbsucking, I had noticed off and on this week that he was sucking his thumb in the crib, but it was inconsistent.  I would feel his thumb when I woke him up and it would be dry. 

When I laid him down for this last nap I hung around out of sight and watched.  Sure enough, he started sucking his thumb and rubbing the silky on his blanket at the same time!  He kept pulling it out, so I am not sure if this will last, but it's helping right now! 

I know later I will not think this is so cute, but right now seeing him with his thumb in his mouth, with his finger crooked over his nose while the other hand rubs that silky is precious! 

I went back up to try to get a picture, but he was asleep already and his thumb was out.  I'll try again later. 

No Good Pictures Here...

The twins are five months!  It is amazing how quickly these last five months have gone, but at the same time, I feel like they've been here forever. 

Jason and I were just discussing how we cannot believe it's November!  Last Christmas season is still so fresh in my memory.  My life is zipping right by! 

The twins are doing well.  The main thing we are dealing with right now is Henry's sleeping habits.  He is being a little uncooperative during naps and at night.  I've decided to put him by himself in the crib in Jackson's room.  Hopefully this cranky phase will not last long because the girls are not happy about having Jackson on their floor.  The time change just made this situation worse. 

I believe the main issue is that he is learning to sleep without being swaddled.  I try to swaddle him, but he is getting so big he busts out of it and then he's crying.  One night I was lying with him (with his arms free) and I would put his paci in and he would take it out with one hand, put that thumb in his mouth and then proceed to take his thumb out with the other hand and then CRY.  I was frustrated just watching.  I wish he would suck his thumb, but he just plays around with it. 

So I wanted to take a cute picture of the twins in their 'matching' outfits, but it did not go as planned.  Henry would not cooperate at all.  I thought I would post them for your enjoyment. 

Henry kept moving!

"Seriously Mommy!"

I feel like Mary Catherine is saying, "Wanna Fight?" She's leaning forward, and she's got her fist ready.

"Heeeeeyyyyyy!"

I got so frustrated with Henry's wiggles that I thought that I would put them in the bumbo seats.  As you can see, that didn't go well either.  He would not look up.  He kept trying to eat his feet.  Ugh.

First Halloween

 

Henry Abram and Mary Catherine

almost five months (November 3rd)

Bath Time

mary catherine and henry

things are going well.  i have not  blogged in forever because life has been so busy.  home schooling three children with infant twins is very time consuming.  i often think about the things i would want to blog about, but never seem to find the time.  i will attempt to update you very briefly.

lately, these are things we have noticed.  my friend sharon told me that her twins switch personalities, but i am not sure how often this happens.  our twins do switch fussiness levels.  for awhile we called mary catherine, "princess fussy pants", but lately we have "high maintenance henry" instead and she's so calm and sweet.

mary catherine has been blowing raspberries like crazy.  she also loves to lie under the jungle gym thingy that has animals hanging down.  she reaches and grabs all of the animals, especially 'mr. banana-man'.  she coos and babbles the entire time she's awake.  mc only wants to be held upright so she can look around.  she will no longer allow anyone to hold her cradle style.  i remember kinz and kerr being the same way.  it makes me a little bit sad.  she will let me do it for a little bit. 

henry can coo and babble, but doesn't do it as often or as much.  (hmm...fulfilling stereotypes already?) he does a lot of squealing when you are talking to him.  he will give you a million dollar smile however!  he has the kind of smile that just lights up his entire face.  he still has to be swaddled with his arms in during naps and night time.  i have this vision of henry at 3 years old and jason and i wrapping and rolling him in twin sized blanket before bed, "okay henry, it's time for bed!  arms by your side buddy!"

even though the girls are fabulous with the twins, sometimes the twins just want jay and I to hold them.  if they are fussy they can only be calmed by us, and sometimes only by me, which can be a problem.  thankfully times like that are few and far between. 

overall, things are going well.  i intended to blog more often to share the daily drab, but it's just not possible.  i am sure i will lose the pathetic following that i had to begin with, but what can you do? 

Cousins

We tried to take some pictures when Parker came over for dinner.

"You didn't want to see her did you?"

I like to call this one, "Parker and her homeys."  It looks like she's saying, "What Then?"

She just has to touch her.

Mary Catherine

Fifteen Weeks

Mary Catherine and Henry @ Fifteen Weeks

They are jabbering away about something the entire time that they are awake. Mary Catherine rolled over from belly to back on my bed the other day. They are still sleeping well and eating well. I think my milk is low, but I am trying some things to bring it back. I pray it recoups.

Bath Time

We've moved from baby bath tub to the real tub.  I just put a little bit of water in the bath and put them both in there.  I did this with Jackson as well and I thought it was so much easier and saved on water.

Henry is hysterical.  I will get video next time, if I remember.  He flips around like a fish out of water.  He thrashes his arms, knocking Mary Catherine in the face, and keeps turning his face likes he's trying to drown himself.  While he's doing this he has a panicked look on his face somewhere between excitement and fear.

Mary Catherine is happy as a clam and just vigorously kicks her legs, like her cousin Parker!

Henry and Mary Catherine @ 14 weeks

10 lbs 14 oz & 10 lbs 4 oz

Swaddling

I am a huge fan of swaddling babies.  I strongly believe it is the reason that all of my babies have been good sleepers.

Now that the twins are three months and getting bigger I have been trying to wrap them with their arms out.

Unsuccessfully.

Last night they slept terribly because of their thrashing arms.  They were up several times during the night and when breastfed babies wake up during the night, guess what they want to do?  EAT.  I am not sure if bottlefed babies are the same, but I suspect so.  So, after weeks of sleeping through the night they are acting like they are 8 weeks all over again.  I don't mind nursing them during the night, it's just that nursing two babies requires more stuff and more work.  You can't lie down and go back to sleep when nursing twins.

After they ate at 6 am, I wrapped them with arms in the swaddle.  Henry was so mad.  He was struggling to get them out like he was in a straightjacket.  Eventually he gave up and slept well until right now.  He's starting to stir.

Three Months Old

The babies were smiling away until the flash and then all I got were these sullen faces!

I tried over a dozen pix with the same results!

Henry and Mary Catherine are three months today!

Things are going well. It's been a tough three months, but worth all of it.

Just to update you on the latest, if you have been a blog follower.

~The babies nurse exclusively. I was hopeful through all the trials that we would get to this point eventually and I'm so glad that I stuck it out. It's been this way for about a month. I know that nursing is not for everyone, but I will say that I am so glad that I am able to do it. Calming a fussy baby by nursing it is so easy and when you have two babies it can be a life saver.

~Henry's weight gain is going okay. He gains about 1/2 ounce to 1 ounce a day, so that is within the normal range. Considering he spits up about an ounce a feeding, I'm thankful he gains that much.

~The yeast issue is being held at bay right now. I have been pain-free nursing for a couple of weeks. I can still *feel* it, but I am not experiencing the level of pain that I was. I have exhausted all remedies and medication known to me via friends and Internet. It is and has been up to the Lord to fix. If it returns to the level I experienced before it might cause me to stop nursing. It is excruciating.

So, that is the update for us right now. If you missed the *saga* of our last three months, please feel free to read the earlier posts.

We're very blessed to have healthy happy babies. It seems like they've been here much longer than three months. We are all adjusting well to their arrival. Someone just asked me today if it has been harder adjusting to having five children. I think the thing that is the most difficult is leaving the house. There is very little time between feedings and I cannot nurse them in public. If I feed them bottles then I have to pump at that time to keep up my supply. So, overall I don't go out unless absolutely necessary.

I know this is just a *season* of life, so it's okay. But if you are wondering why you have not seen me much or heard from me much it's because we're here feeding and taking care of the twins.

False Alarm

Yesterday must have just been a fluke because today all I see is puke.

Bye-Bye Newborns!

After changing several blow-outs, I believe we are officially out of newborn diapers!

We're moving on to size 1!

I am amazed and thankful for how the Lord provides. We have no more newborn diapers stored in the attic that we had been given and at the same time, they have out grown them.

A Fluke?

I started the Axid today.

I am really skeptical because I have heard that it is not much different, if any, than Zantac.

However, for the last two feedings there has been no spit up. None. This has never happened.

I am trying not to get my hopes up, but it has been nice.

Dietary Suggestions???

Our visit with the doctor was not all I hoped it would be, but I'm getting used to that I suppose.

We had a very *thorough* discussion on how acid medications like Prevacid, Prilosec, Zantac, etc... do not help with spit up, but with the pain caused by reflux. He even broke out the medical books because he could tell that I did not believe him.

I discussed with him that I had spoken with several mothers/fathers and that they had given me references on medications that HAD helped their child with spit up.

Apparently, you are all wrong and he is right. After all, HE is a doctor and went to med. school and you did not.

So, he wrote me a prescription for Axid and I am to try that for the next two weeks. If there is no improvement, which he suspects there won't be, but he wrote it to humor me I suppose. He asked if Henry was fussy and overall I say no, but he does cry when he spits up and I can see he is in pain. I just don't have overly fussy babies. They fuss when they are hungry or tired. Once I meet those needs, they are happy.

So, if any of you have any dietary suggestions for nursing moms with spitty babies, I would like to hear them. I know that if I eat ice cream or milk his spit up is much worse.

Reflux...

Henry is suffering with reflux. He spits up about an ounce every feeding, which is very frustrating because we work so hard to feed him 3 oz to 4 oz!

He's been on Zantac for two weeks and it doesn't work.

Any suggestions?

BTW-formula or rice cereal in formula, etc... are not an option at this point. Any other suggestions are welcomed. :)

I think it's for real...

Okay, last night was night eleven of sleeping through the night, if I go back to last Friday night when they slept until after 5 am.

So, I believe it's no longer a fluke and it's offical... my babies are sleeping through the night!

Woo-Hoo!

Now we just have about another month of 10:30 pm feedings and they'll be going from 8 pm-7 am!

We'll have to figure out how this is going to work once they are going to bed that early. Right now they sleep in our room until the 10:30 feeding and then out in the living room until morning.

We anticipate putting them in Jack's room at night, but we'll have to put them all down at the same time and he listens to music and they listen to white noise.

We'll figure out something I'm sure.

Sleeping Through the Night?

Last night was the sixth night in a row...

They ate at 11 pm and slept until 6:00 am.

Can I now say they are sleeping through the night?

Is it here to stay?

I am going to try to make that last feeding more near 10 pm. It was later because sometimes they don't sleep very well earlier in the evening so I want them to get a nap in before I wake them.

It's all a work in progress, but I am very happy. :)

BTW- yeast issue is improving, but still here...

Five in a Row...

The babies slept from their 10:15 pm feeding until 6:45 am.

I cannot even believe it!

Yesterday was not a great day however. They were pretty much awake from their 4:30 pm feeding until that 10:15 feeding. There were a few moments of sleep, but not many.

Mary Catherine finally got about 30 mins in a swing, but then we tried it again later and it didn't work.

It is very difficult to have two babies awake and fussy. The babies are becoming more aware each day and they are not as comforted when the girls hold them as they used to be in the early days. They want Jason or I to hold them, which is not always possible.

I hope tonight is not like that because Jason and the kids are gone for the day and night.

As a side note~the yeast is not worse, but it is not gone either. We are currently all on Nystatin and I'm doing genetian violet once a day, which turns their entire mouths purple as well as anything else it touches, even spit up.

8 hours...

The twins went eight hours in between meals last night!! Unbelievable.

It is the fourth night in a row of good sleep for everyone. I'm starting to get spoiled, so I sure hope it continues.

We fed them bottles at 10:30 ish last night and they woke up at 6:40 am!

My other three were doing this same schedule at this age (10 weeks), but I thought the twins would be later since they were born early and I have not been as regimented with their schedule. I have fed them every three hours all day long since birth, but it has only been the last couple of weeks that I have made it the same time each day.

I followed Babywise with the other three and with the twins it has been a modified version. I know that there is more than one way to skin a cat and following a schedule is not for everyone. I enjoy following a schedule. It helps to know what to expect during the day, especially with twins.

Every three hours (from the start of the last feeding) I wake them to eat, keep them awake for a bit and then put them down for a nap. Eat, Wake, Sleep.

They are usually up for an hour total, including their feeding time. A couple of times a day they might be up for an hour and a half, but never longer. After their feedings and diaper changes, as soon as they start to fuss at all or need any intervention for happiness I put them down for a nap. I don't want to miss the 'window' or they will flip their lids when I put them down in their crib.

This is their schedule, which might vary by 30 mins at any time during the day. I do have three other children to attend to so I am not glued to this schedule. This is more of a skeleton goal for the day. Usually we are pretty close to it, but we may be late or early.

7 am eat

(if they wake at 5 am like yesterday, then I would wake them at 7:30 am so they get a little bit more sleep. Today they woke up at 6:40 am, but i will make their next feeding 10 am to preserve the schedule. It's not usually an issue b/c in the morning they sleep so well. )

10 am eat, wake sleep

1 pm eat, wake, sleep

4 pm eat, wake, sleep

7 pm eat, wake, sleep

10 pm eat-back to sleep; no wake time at this time of night or in the middle of the night. Even at 5 am they go right back to bed. Wake time starts after the 7 am feeding.

I'm trying to prepare myself that this might not last, but I know that now I will be sad because I have tasted the joy of sleep...

&*@!!! Yeast!

Pray for me.

Yeast is not gone. The dr. called yesterday and I cannot take the medicine anymore because of my levels in my liver. I can feel it creeping back. It started yesterday and today I'm so grumpy.

Still trying everything I know to do via internet because the doctors are completely and utterly ignorant. My ped and ob both have lovely advice...'wean'... Really? You went to med school all those years and that's all you got?

This experience is really putting a bad taste in my mouth for 'modern' medicine. I might just stop shaving my legs and armpits and turn into a homeopathic hippie.

Might have to throw out their favorite pacifiers that were $12 each... very sad about that. I have been sanitizing but due to the fact we've had this stuff for so long, something is not working.

They have been on meds for almost a week.

I also have a blister today from the yeast. I cannot express how much it hurts to feed my baby right now.

I just want to nurse my babies without issue, without pain...

I also want to stop complaining. I'm so whiny today. Pray for my kids.

Just a thought...

Isn't it amazing how God gives you such a strong love for your baby that you think that your baby is the cutest, sweetest baby there is out there?

Even if your baby isn't all that cute to others, you still think your baby is sooo cute.

It is just amazing to me.

Maybe God does that so we won't eat our young...

Just kidding.

Sometimes I crack myself up.

Sleep?

Yesterday was a crazy day. Jason found out very last minute after church that he had to go to out of town for the rest of the day and night. In his rush to leave he forgot some keys he needed. So, after I nursed the twins we packed up the gang and went to work (30 mins away) to give him the keys.

Since I already had the gang packed up and we decided to go the mall so I could return some things that were the wrong size at Baby Gap. The children did very well and I was able to get what I needed, with exception of a sound machine.

I am trying to find a sound machine that is louder than the one I have now. Jason got the one we have and it's for babies so I am assuming that is why it isn't too loud. They don't want you deafening your child, but I need to drown out the noise of the other three since the babies sleep in our room which is right off the kitchen. Right now we have the sound machine and a box fan going which works well, but we have to keep dragging the box fan from room to room b/c they sleep in the living room at night. I would like to just use two sound machines because then I don't have to worry about moving anything.

Okay, so after the mall, I called some friends who live near the mall to see if we could drop by since I had not seen them since the twins were born. We ended up having dinner with them-Pei Wei- yummy.

We got home around 7ish and I fed the babies and put them in their crib for the first time all day around 8:30 pm. They had pretty much cat napped in their car seats all day. I was hoping they would sleep well until the 10:30ish feeding. Mary Catherine had other ideas. She got up around 9:30 and was so miserable. I would normally follow the whole cry it out method, because after a few minutes she will go back to sleep, but I just know it's related to this medicine they are taking. She is burping out both ends and just pitifully sad.

The only thing that will calm her is to nurse her, so for the next hour she nurses. Yes, I said hour. She's usually finished in 20 minutes. As soon as she's finished and finally happy, it's time to wake up Henry. Since I am alone, I decide to wait until MC is completely asleep because I won't be able to tend to her if I'm nursing Henry. I got him up before 11:30 pm and he nurses for an hour, which is not that unusual for him.

By the time I am in bed and Henry is asleep it is 1:00 am. I am praying that Mary Catherine does not wake up soon. Usually at night they go around 4 hrs, maybe 5 hrs at the most and since she had started eating at 9:30 pm, that was going to be very soon. This is why it is very important to keep twins on the same schedule.

Well, much to my surprise, the first I heard anyone was 5 AM! It wasn't even MC, it was Henry stirring and crying out. I got up and started to get my stuff ready and then I decided to wait until he was full blown crying. They are usually in the den, so we don't hear all the little stuff leading up to the crying. I forced myself to go back to sleep. Henry started to really cry at 6:40 am. That's right folks, 6:40 am! Mary Catherine went from 9:30 pm until 6:40 am and she wasn't even the one crying. I could not believe it.

The best part is that even though Jason wasn't here to help I didn't have the middle of the night feeding anyway.

I am not expecting the same results tonight because they won't be completely exhausted like they were yesterday. I would rather they get good sleep all the time than wear them out so I can get a couple of extra hours at night. In the long run having a good nap schedule is more important because the night time sleep will come.

Well, I'm off to do some laundry with all this new found energy...

Sadly, I really don't feel anymore rested than normal... oh well.

Two Month Check-Up

We went to the twins' check up today. I was kind of disappointed that I had my appointment with the same doctor as last week's visit. I really thought it was going to be a different doctor. I am trying to find one that isn't pompous and patronizing.

Their overall visit went well. The main concerns at this point are Henry's weight gain, his acid reflux and his skull growth. Mary Catherine checks out well with no issues. The doctor wants me to try to have Henry drink 4 oz at each feeding, which means I will have to continue to measure them each feeding, so the scale rental will continue. Henry easily gets 3 oz, but usually is done after that and is happy until the next feeding, but we'll keep nursing and try to get him to get 4 oz.

He wants me to give the zantac one more week and then 'touch base' whatever that means. It probably means, "Can I have your $25 so I can tell you there's nothing we can do?"

He said he wants to keep an eye on Henry's weight gain and that I am to come in if it drops to less than 1/2 ounce per day. I assured him that I was more concerned about Henry's weight gain than he was so didn't have to remind me. He wanted me to come in next week for a weight check but I told him that I wasn't going to do that because I have a scale (which I had already mentioned at least twice) and I weighed him enough at home.

The main crux of the appointment was our discussion on yeast. He was the same doctor I saw last week that would not give the babies anything because he didn't see anything. Well, this week when I came back I told him that I am still suffering with the yeast issue myself and that I had read and spoken with many women who had dealt with this and they say over and over that both the mother and child need to be treated, even if there are no symptoms. I mean, how can I have yeast for the last six weeks in my milk ducts and they not be affected??

I ever so calmly said to him, "If it felt like shards of glass were coming out of one of your body parts and someone sucked on that body part for 40 mins eight times a day I bet you would be singing a different tune about prescribing something when you don't see anything. "

So, he would not give them what I wanted him to give them, but he gave me the prescription that works 40% of the time. Good Gravy. He said that maybe I don't have yeast, maybe it's something else. I said, "What could it be?" He said, "I don't know, I'm not an adult doctor."

Umm...that is lame. There is such a disconnect between pediatricians and ob-gyns. We are talking about an issue that is critical in nursing and he seems clueless. Shouldn't a pediatrician know a thing or two about nursing?

It's as if his attitude, (and the other dr.) is breastfeeding is best until there is any hiccup at all and then we are completely ignorant so here is some formula because we aren't adult doctors.

On a more positive note, the twins are developing perfectly. They are right on track mentally and socially for a two month old. The dr. said that they were technically full term for twins at 37 weeks. However, out of the other side of his mouth, he said we had to make allowances for their growth because they were so small. He said they would catch up eventually. I don't know what that means. Jason is a twin and he (and Karl) was the smallest kid in his class until ninth grade. Let's hope they catch up before then...

Henry's stats:

8 lbs 15 oz (3%)

23 1/8 in. (50%)

Mary Catherine

8 lbs 5 1/2 oz (10%)

21 3/4 in. (25%)

Dr. Appt

I went to the dr today because I wanted to make sure that they twins did not have thrush/yeast since I am having such a horrible time getting rid of it in me. It makes nursing incredibly painful. I have been on 5 rounds of diflucan with no results. I'm now on the 6th round and we're making it a double.

So, the dr. saw no evidence. I wanted to treat them anyways, but he did not take too kindly to my idea. So conservative.

However, the dr. did give me a prescription for zantac for Henry's reflux. Hopefully we will see an improvement in the spit up and fussiness. At least I got one problem solved and that makes me feel a little bit better since I had to pay $50 for their co-pay. I feel like I get jipped because they are two patients, but they don't take any extra time with them, just extra money.

We also have to go have an x-ray. The dr. wants to make sure that Henry's head is closing or not closing at the right speed. He is concerned that it is closing to quickly in the back of his skull. I pray all is okay.

Hungry Babies

This is what it looks like every time before I feed them.

Eight Weeks

Our babies are eight weeks!

Henry weighs 8 lbs 8 oz

Mary Catherine weighs 7 lbs 13 oz

In seven days they have gained 7 oz which is exactly what they are supposed to do. Even gaining a 1/2 oz per day is fine, but they are doing better than that with gaining one ounce a day.

I think Henry would be further ahead, but his spitting up is so terrible. We go to the dr. next week and I will address this with them. I pray we don't have to jump through a bunch of hoops. I am not normally a pro-medication person when I can just stick it out, but it is frustrating when I'm counting every gram and he's spitting up like a geyser.

They are both starting to smile more and more. Of course, they make me out to be a liar every time because they are smiling at me, but when I call Jason over, they go straight faced. They are such good babies. They melt my heart when they look up at me, especially now because they are really looking at me and tracking me around the room.

Counting It All Joy

Things are going well for the most part. The twins have been nursing exclusively for over a week now. My supply is going well. I only pump twice a day; after the last night feeding and then in the middle of the night when they get a bottle. I pump after the last night feeding because I am not going to nurse anytime soon after and it gives me extra milk to store.

I am having another issue right now that is quite painful. Actually the most painful thing I have experienced in my life. A couple of days after I stopped pumping I got a clogged milk duct. I think it's because I was somewhat engorged. I had been pumping 6-8 times a day and then I went to pumping twice a day.

The clogged milk duct was very painful. I put a hot tea bag on it, took a shower and put the hot sprayer on it and I tried pumping, but nothing worked. Finally, the next feeding Henry was able to break it free. However, as either a result of the clogged duct, or the yeast issue that I have had for the last month, I have a milk blister. Ouch.

When Henry nurses it's like having my body part in a vice and the vice is ripped from my body and thrown against the wall, over and over, while it's still attached.

As if the milk blister wasn't painful enough, I also have bleeding and cracking going on.

Seriously?

I am dreading nursing right now. It builds anxiety in me because I know the pain will be so bad. I am taking around the clock Motrin and have been for days and days. Yesterday it was so bad that I actually took some medicine I had leftover from my delivery. I only took one then, but I have already taken two doses because of this situation. This morning I actually took 1/2 of the dose because yesterday when I took it I fell asleep in like five minutes and barely made it to church.

The Lord will be glorified through this situation. It is only by His grace that I continue to move forward with nursing. I pray for healing and success with this situation. I don't know how long I will be able to provide enough milk for the babies, but as long as I have milk they will nurse.

On a side note, the twins will be 8 weeks on Wednesday! If I can find my battery charger I will take some pictures.

Weight

I weighed the twins tonight in a dry diaper before I bathed them.

Mary Catherine~ 7 lbs 6 oz

Henry~ 8 lbs 1 oz

We have had good feedings all day long today! Yay! It takes about 45 mins to nurse them, but I am not complaining. We have to switch back and forth a few times to make sure that Henry gets enough. This last feeding at 7 pm, MC got almost her whole feeding done in less than 15 mins. I just keep her going so that she's not crying.

I need to ask the LC, but maybe someone else knows so I will ask it here too. Mary Catherine's poop is sometimes green and grainy instead of mustard yellow and grainy. I've read that sometimes that means that she's getting too much foremilk and not enough hind milk. I know that she is getting hind milk because of how much she's drinking, but maybe I'm wrong.

I pray it continues to go well tonight at 10 pm and for the next 10 months! Hee-Hee.

Praise!

I just had to write that this last feeding at 10 am went perfectly.

Both babies got over 3 oz. I ended up having to switch Henry over to Mary Catherine's side at the end because that side makes more, but that's okay. I switched her over to his side just to keep her busy even though she didn't need any more.

I don't realize how much stress this causes me every three hours until something like this happens and I feel so relieved. So much of my day is consumed with their feedings and weight gain. I wouldn't trade it, but it is stressful. I cannot imagine having to deal with a more serious issue with them. I really feel for families that have that in their lives.

Update on Progress

For the last three or four days I have been nursing the twins without the SNS tubing. I am not sure at this point if it was the right decision. I just felt like based on my documentation that the twins were getting lazy with nursing with the tubing. Instead of making progress of drinking less out of the SNS bottle and more from me, they were reversing that trend. They would suck and suck and then let the tubing kind of drizzle in their mouths. And with nursing, you get the best results when they suck continuously.

Yesterday I spoke with the Lactation Consultant about how things were going. We talked through a short term plan that includes the following.

• I will stop pumping except when I give the twins a bottle instead of nursing, like in the middle of the night. We are hoping it will make it so that I'm more full at the beginning of the feeding. The body is supposed to be supply and demand but two hours may have not been enough time to replenish the supply. We're going to try it for a couple of days and see if my supply stay up.

• I will continue to weigh the twins before and after each feeding.

• I will also weigh the twins (in just a dry diaper) each day at the same time to check their weight gain.

If the twins do not get what they usually do when they nurse, I will give them a bottle (of expressed milk) after the feeding to make up the difference. The lactation consultant was not thrilled about this idea and said that 'by the book' they encourage the SNS tubing to avoid the nipple preference issue, but she said that you cannot ignore what the mother observes about her children.

So, basically if I think they are being lazy with the SNS based on my documentation of their intake then we have to work through this another way. Also, I told her that the babies will be getting bottles regardless, so it is not as if I was going to eliminate them all together. They get a bottle in the middle of the night (of expressed milk) and on Sundays at church.

When we use a bottle in the middle of the night it is so much faster because I don't have to weigh them before and after and they drink it faster. Instead of being up for over an hour, we can be back in bed in less than 30 mins. We also know how much they get and don't have to wonder if they are a little fussy if it's because they are still hungry. We can let them fuss their way to sleep without concern of hunger. Thankfully Jason still is willing to help me with their feedings so that I don't lose so much sleep.

I'm not used to having to nurse for 30-45 mins. My other three children were very efficient nursers and were done within 10-15 minutes so I never used bottles. Of course, they weren't sharing a milk supply either.

I'll let you know how it goes over the next few days. Already this morning Henry had to have an ounce in a bottle after nursing for almost an hour. He drank 2 oz, but is usually content with 3 oz, so I gave him the extra oz in a bottle. He subsequently spit up most of the extra ounce, so I don't know if it was worth it. Mary Catherine drank 2 1/2 oz within 30 minutes.

Whoever is on the 'good' side usually has no trouble getting their fill because the milk comes faster. Since Henry's suck is better I put him on the slow side. I figure he can work for it. Eventually he'll get it.

Please continue to pray for us. We are thankful for your prayers. We give the Lord the glory for any improvement we have with the twins.

Six Weeks

Mary Catherine weighs 7 lbs 1 oz & Henry weighs 7 lbs 13 oz at six weeks old

I am still dealing with nursing issues. I need to touch base with the LC to discuss where they are at this point and get more advice, encouragement, guidance, etc...

The frustration at this point is that they nurse with the SNS tubing and get 2 oz from that, and about one more from me. After they eat, I pump and get at least 2 oz, so I have plenty of milk, it's just that they are not accessing it from some reason.

I could be off base, but I feel like the SNS is kind of making them lazy a little, now they their suck is getting better. They are both latching on okay. Their suck could be better, but I feel like it would get stronger if they had to work a little harder to get the milk. The tubing isn't difficult and it practically falls into their mouth. Sometimes it actually comes out too fast and they choke.

So tonight I decided they were going to nurse with nothing attached. I pumped afterwards and got about an ounce or a little more from each side. Mary Catherine did well and got her fill pretty quickly b/c I put her on the 'good' side. Everyone who has ever nursed knows you have a good side that produces more than the other side. My good side produces about half to one ounce more.

I kept switching Henry from side to side to get him his fill. I think he ended up with about 3 oz, but he spits up so much that he might have wanted more but by then he had nursed for over 30 mins and he was tuckered out.

I weigh them before they eat and after so that I can see exactly how many mL they get for my peace of mind.

Wish me luck. (really prayers, b/c I don't believe in luck.)

One Step Forward, Three Steps Back...

Well, I finally got the scale from the LC.

Once again, not good news. Henry's suck is not as good as I thought and he is not drinking enough from me.

This is quite disappointing. I had already gone back to feeding them at the same time and was enjoying the fact it goes a bit faster that way.

Now I am attempting to continue to feed them at the same time, but now they both have the SNS tubing to deal with as well. It does not go easily all the time because I don't have a free hand, so if they pull off then I have try to direct their heads to latch back on while also making sure the tiny tubing lines up into their mouths as well. While at the same time making sure the other twin doesn't pop off.

I would have to say that I am discouraged. I pray that as they grow bigger this improves. It certainly helps to have the scale because we can see how milk they drink from the SNS and how much they drink from me. It just adds one more thing to this circus I call life.

I think the thing that is so frustrating is that I know I have plenty of milk, but they can't seem to access it. I do think the balance between feeding them and pumping is tricky. I am not sure that my body is having enough time to refill to a level that they want. However, I can't stop pumping until they are nursing exclusively or I won't have anything to put in the SNS bottle. Also, I can't risk lowering my milk supply. I'm up to 2-4 oz per side depending on how well they eat. According to the scale they only take in about one ounce so if I were to stop pumping then my supply will adjust to only making one ounce every 3 hours and that would definitely not work.

It makes my head hurt.

I have not spoken with the consultant again since I learned that Henry's intake was less than we thought. However, when I spoke with her the other day she was so encouraging and said that no matter how this ends up that I was such a trooper. She said that she was going to use me as the 'example' when other moms were whining about nursing one baby that was issue free. (her words, not mine) She thinks they will eventually get it because of my perseverance. I can be quite stubborn I suppose. This is one of those instances that parents of stubborn children are thankful for because don't we all say, "She so stubborn, but hopefully that trait will help her when she grows up in some way."

It really helps me to know that people are praying for the twins and their growth. I pray that I keep my cool and think about the big picture. They nurse for a year, so a couple of months of headache is worth it.

Henry's Praise

Yesterday afternoon I forgot to pump after a feeding, so by the next feeding I was quite full and for the first time, Henry nursed without any assistance from the SNS tubing.

YAY!

So, I decided to try it again at the 7ish/8ish feeding. He nursed and didn't fuss, but would not take a good nap after that feeding. I'm not sure if it's because he didn't get enough or if it was just a bad nap.

At the 10:30/11 pm feeding I gave him a bottle of expressed milk because by that time I'm practically a zombie and I don't have the energy to deal with nursing. I also gave him at bottle at the 3 am feeding.

After each of those feedings, I pumped, like normal.

So, this morning at 6:30 am, it had been 3 hours since I pumped, so I decided to try to nurse him again unassisted. He did well and slept well. I thought that at the 9:30 am feeding that I might be low b/c I pumped after the last feeding, but I had enough that he ate and was content afterwards. He even spit up a bunch, so hopefully that's a good sign.

My nursing experience with these twins is totally different. With my other children when I would nurse I would have to wear nursing pads because I would leak and I would get engorged in between feedings, but it's not that way with the twins. I never ever leak. I don't know if it's because I'm completely draining myself with the pumping or what.

Well, after Henry's first unassisted nursing, I called the LC because I wanted to ask her about pumping and nursing. The problem that I face is that by the time I'm done nursing both of the babies it has been an hour and half because I nurse them separately at this point. So then I pump, only to start over again in another hour and a half to two hours, depending on when they wake up. They wake themselves, I usually do not wake them. I would wake them every 3-4 anyway because the LC said it is very important with twins to keep my milk up and consistent.

So, I feel like my body is not having enough time to refill. I know that I always have some milk, but I need enough that Henry is not frustrated. However, if I stop pumping and find out he's not getting enough then I will mess up the supply that I've worked so hard to maintain.

The plan at this point is to meet with the LC sometime this week and rent a digital scale from her. I will weigh Henry before each nursing and after to see if he's getting enough. If he is getting enough, then I will stop pumping on his side and only pump on Mary Catherine's side.

I'm very encouraged by Henry's progress. He's 5 weeks today. I am thankful for your prayers. I can totally see the Lord's hand in all of this. Please pray for his continued progress and for Mary Catherine's. I don't think she really nurses at all yet. She basically drinks her milk via the SNS tubing while 'nursing'. We're praying for her suck to improve!

Some Praises...

Some praises to share~

My milk is doing better. I actually have a little bit in the refrigerator, so I'm ahead a feeding or two.

Henry seems to be doing better. There's no way to know for sure, without a digital scale to weigh him before and after feedings. However, the LC told me that when I saw that he was leaving some milk in the SNS bottle it probably meant that he was pulling more milk from me. So, the last couple of times Henry has left half of the SNS bottle. So, either he is eating less or he's getting better with his latch and suck.

Mary Catherine is the same. Her suck is terrible and she drains the entire SNS bottle so I know she's not pulling from me at all.

Please continue to pray that both of the babies would nurse exclusively~no gadgets, no pumps, no bottles necessary.

I thank you for the prayers. Things are improving!

La Leche League

I went to the local La Leche League meeting today.

I was hoping that someone there had experience with what we're going through, but no such luck.

It was a good meeting and there were lots of moms there, but I doubt I'll go back.

I'm just not the type of mother that is cut out for that kind of breastfeeding.

You know, the kind that advocates walking around the house shirtless while holding your naked nursing baby so you can have skin to skin contact while you do the dishes.

Also, I'm not for nursing much past the age of one. I believe if your child can tie his own shoes, he should no longer be nursing.

I know that might make some of you mad, and I'm okay with that, because we're all different.

And yes, both of those examples were witnessed today at my meeting...

Milk is Up

I've been taking Fenugreek for the last few days. The LC said to take 3 pills 3x a day. I am happy to say that my milk production is up a bit. It's about 1/2 oz to 1 oz more. It doesn't sound like much, but they only drink 2-3 oz per feeding, so that makes a difference.

Praise the Lord.

Thank you for praying. I know you are praying and I'm thankful.

My Appointment Results...

So, $140 later... (I should become a lactation consultant in my later years...)

Okay this is what I know, or was confirmed for me.

Mary Catherine has a terrible suck. She now will use a nipple shield and the SNS until she improves. I will then have to wean her off of two things. We're hoping that her suck will improve. The LC was hopeful, but concerned.

Henry's suck is okay, but his frustration level makes it so he will not latch correctly without the SNS to give him constant milk. I will work on weaning him off the SNS by closing the valve off and on while he is nursing to encourage him to draw from me.

So, the plan is to continue to nurse one baby, with all contraptions necessary, while someone else feeds the other baby. For a few more weeks, it will take a circus to get this accomplished. Thank the Lord in Heaven for my girls and Jason, as well as good friends and family who have been recruited to help off and on.

I mourn for the ease of nursing my babies without all this pomp and circumstance.

The LC did recommend the Podee bottle because it is harder to suck the milk, which will strengthen their muscles. My sister is going to drive and get that for me at Babies R Us, which is 45 mins from us. This bottle should be better for everyone because the girls won't have to hold the babies completely upright when they feed them.

As far as my milk supply, I am now taking Fenugreek Seed three times a day and I will start Reglan. The LC said that each baby should be getting 2 oz of milk every three hours. She said they may drink more because it's in a bottle and flowing faster, but they don't 'need' more at this point. So, if I don't have more than 2 oz of breast milk and they are still starving, I will give them some formula.

Right now, I'm still ahead a little bit on milk. I know it's the Lord supplying my needs. He wants me right there, not too cocky, not too prideful...just right there leaning on Him for my every need.

Another Lactation Consultant

I'm meeting with another lactation consultant today.

Pray that she can help the twins and I figure this out. I'm down to the wire. I only have two feedings of frozen milk left, so if I don't pump enough at the end of each feeding for the next feeding we'll have to use formula.

Milk...

So, things here have been crazy. Jason and the kids left for Charlotte on Thursday, which left me alone with the babies. If the babies were tandem nursing that would not be such a big deal. However, it still takes two people to feed the babies every three hours.

Thankfully, my sister spent the night Thurs, worked from here on Friday, and came back at dinner time on Saturday to spend the night again. In between those times, my friend/neighbor Sharon came over and helped me feed them. I am very blessed by wonderful family and friends.

What I usually do is nurse one twin with the SNS and someone else bottle feeds the other twin. I have been trying to put the twins on to nurse at the same time initially and then have someone take one twin to bottle feed after a few minutes so they don't forget what it's like to nurse. The problem is that they still have fairly weak sucks so they get on, but my milk will not come down. I tried pumping today right before I put them on, but it still did not help.

I have started to feel like Henry is really enjoying the bottle too much and has very little patience for nursing, even with the SNS. So the last few feedings I have done only SNS with him and no bottle at all. The SNS is basically an upside down bottle with a very thin tube that goes into the baby's mouth. So, I can see that he gets 2 oz, but he gets it while 'nursing'. At first Henry protested quite a bit, but the last two feedings he has done better and finished his 2 oz bottle via SNS.

Mary Catherine is much more patience and will try to latch over and over, but even when she does it to no avail because her suck is so weak. It's like a tickle. Hopefully it will not backfire that I'm concentrating on Henry so much.

My pumping is not going to well. I'm barely producing enough to make it to the next feeding. I only have four feedings worth frozen. I feel like the woman in the Bible who only had enough oil for one more loaf of bread. The Lord kept providing b/c of her faith, but I'm sure she was a little nervous at first.

Please pray that my milk production will increase and that the twins will begin to nurse well. I know once they nurse it will help my milk, but it's such an arduous task to teach them.

I'm going to a La Leche meeting on Th. If I don't feel like I get any help there, then I will make an appointment with another lacation consultant. I want to make sure we are doing things correctly.

Weight Check

We took the twins for their weight check.

Henry weighed 6 lbs 3 oz, which means he gained 9 oz in 4 days. They wanted him to gain 1/2 oz to 1 oz a day, so he blew that out of the water. He gained half of what he lost. Another 9 oz and he'll be back to birth weight.

Mary Catherine weighed 5 lbs 9.5 oz, which means she gained 5.5 oz. Her birth weight was 5 lbs 12 oz, so she is very close to that now.

Henry got 2 oz of formula on that Friday, but since then they both have had breast milk via bottles and SNS tubing. I'm so glad that I had the courage to follow my gut and ignore the pathetically rude pediatrician.

I'm not saying formula is bad, and who knows how all of this will end up, but at this point it is important to me to give them breast milk and try my hardest to get them to nurse well.

Thank you all for the prayers.

Please pray that they will learn to nurse so that I can feed them at the same time and I don't need so much help from everyone. Jason has lost quite a bit of sleep helping me every night with the bottle feedings. He does it so willingly, but I just don't see the need for both of us to be tired, if we can help it. He has to go to work to support this family. I get to be at home where it doesn't matter if I'm incoherent or smelly or sleep deprived.

Sun Night/Mon Morning

I have just a few minutes before I have to start the feedings again.

They drank bottles around 2:45 am. I was back in bed at 4 am after feeding MC, pumping, cleaning the bottles, the pump, refilling the bottles with the newly pumped milk for the next feeding.

They woke up next at 6:30 am. I was going to try to nurse Henry and then wake MC, but she couldn't wait so I took her in to Jason. (He finished his night sleeping in the living room b/c he finished with Henry and had him back in bed before I was finished with all my stuff.)

Henry would not latch on, so after 10 mins of screaming, I fed him a bottle.

They were back in bed around 7:30-7:45 am.

At 9:30 am, I woke MC and nursed her for about 10-15 mins. She drank about 10-15 ml from the SNS tubing. She then drank her bottle. At 10:30 am, I was finished with her and woke Henry and did the same with him for the next hour. I was glad they both attached and drank, even if it's not coming out from me very well. They got some practice.

After that I pumped, cleaned the pump and bottles, and refilled bottles for the next feeding. Then I warmed my lunch and sat here to write this.

It's already time to wake MC again and start this all over again. I'm thinking that I will just give her a bottle of milk and then pump. Or maybe I'll see if she will sleep as long as Henry and try to attach both of them with SNS tubing. I just cannot bear another two hours right now.

I need a shower.

Last Night...

I have a small break in between the chaos, so I thought I would update.

Last night for both of the middle of the night feedings, we bottle fed the twins. The LC recommended that so that we are not up too long. It was a good recommendation because the twins are so terrible at their suck that it takes them at least 30 mins to drink 2 oz.

After they eat then I pump.

Jason fed and changed Henry and I had Mary Catherine. I am so thankful for his help. It's not easy to lose sleep and Jay loves sleep more than food. :) He happily and lovingly helped me both feedings. Let's hope that sweet demeanor stays for the next couple of weeks.

This morning (8:30 am) MC slept longer, so I had time for Henry to nurse with the SNS tube. He did well and drank 20 ml from the tube while staying attached. He still doesn't attach perfectly, but we're working on it. it took about a dozen attempts to get him to stay on. Afterwards, I had Kerrigan feed Henry a bottle while I had MC nurse with the SNS tubing. She also stayed attached and drank 20 ml via the SNS.

I still don't think that they are getting much from me b/c when I pump I get the same amount, but they are learning at least. So, they 'nurse' for 15 mins and might get close to an ounce, including what they get from the SNS. A lot of work for a little reward.

All of this is so new for me. I'm not used to needing help, but at this point it's absolutely necessary.

(As I sit and write this, my friend and neighbor, Sharon, just called and offered to come help feed a baby while my family is at church. God is so good to work through people.)

Wake Med Today...

So, the lactation consultant called me back from Wake Med. I decided to go over there since it was today versus Monday.

It took awhile and we learned a bit and now we have a 'plan'.

In short, basically the twins are not good nursers. Most likely due to being born early and being small with little mouths. So, because they are not good nursers, they do not nurse correctly, so my let down doesn't come down.

We weighed the babies and then I 'nursed' and then she weighed them again. MC is a better nurser, but even she was pitiful. After almost 15-20 mins of nursing, she only gained 5 ml. In case you don't know how much that is, 30 ml is an ounce. 5 ml is about the amount you put in a medicine dropper. So, obviously there is a nursing issue. It's honestly a wonder how they were not worse off than they are at this point.

Our plan is to continue to nurse and work with each twin on his/her technique, while having an S-n-S tube going down into his/her mouth near the nipple so that she/he is getting breastmilk via the tubing to encourage a continuous latch on. They are off and on so much that we don't have any rhythm and so no let down, which causes frustration, etc...

Now, while I'm doing that with one twin, the other twin will get expressed milk via a bottle. Hopefully being fed by one of my girls or Jason. Already the fun of bottle feeding the twins is wearing thin. We have to feed the baby sitting up so that he/she doesn't get lazy by having the milk pour down his/her throat. It's not easy for the kids to do that, but they try. If the twins don't wake at the same time, then I will probably do it all myself. However, I've spent the last two weeks waking them at the same time, so usually they are up at the same time.

After 'nursing' that twin will also get a 2 oz-3 oz bottle of milk.

After that bottle, I will pump. I'm going to get a hospital grade pump on Monday.

Hopefully within the next couple of weeks, the twins will figure out how to nurse better and we can go back to tandem nursing. Until then, I will be spending A LOT of time doing all of the above and preparing for the next feeding. I have no idea how anything else will ever get done.

The other kids don't need to eat do they?

Appt.

I have an appt. on Monday with a lactation consultant about 1 hr. from here. Apparently there are not very many of these people. Maybe I should look into this for my next career...

Continue to pray for us.

She told me to feed my saved milk instead of formula, which is what I wanted to do, but I just needed someone to back me up.

I have no solutions about this yet, but she made me feel better during our conversation. She gave me hope.

Worst Ever

Last night and this morning were horrible.

Henry will no longer attach at all. One day of supplementing with bottles and he's already done. So, he screams hysterically while I try to feed MC.

Then I supplement them with bottles.

Then I pump.

It took over 2 hours-twice. The girls helped me a little this morning but they don't really like feeding them b/c they spit up.

I am so spent.

If you know of a lactation consultant in my area, please email me with her name. painterse@hotmail.com or you can send it to me on FB or in the comments section here.

No Good...

We went for our two week check up today.

It was not good news.

Henry weighed 5 lbs 10 oz. He was 6 lbs 12 oz at birth. He was supposed to be back at that for this appointment.

Mary Catherine weighed 5 lbs 4 oz. She was 5 lbs 12 oz at birth.

The dr. wants me to supplement with formula after I nurse them and go in for a weight check on Tues.

I have mixed emotions about the supplementing.

After paying attention to things more closely today after our appointment, I believe the issue lies in the fact that for whatever reason, the twins cannot induce my 'let down'. I'm thinking that it might because their mouths are so small right now.

They nurse for about 20-40 mins and then I pump because I want to keep up my milk supply. Once I start pumping, I can feel my let down and I can get about 1 oz-2 oz and sometimes 3 oz per side in about 2-3 mins.

So, I am 'thinking' that I am going to pump a little first and then attach the twins.

I am going to supplement after I nurse them. I just don't know if it will be with formula or pumped milk. The dr. is concerned that my milk is not high enough in calories. I can see the fat in my milk separate to the top, so I do not share that concern. However, I am not so closed minded as to think that I could be wrong.

To add to the issue, I am a little put off by my dr. b/c I honestly do not think he took the time to listen to me. I am not fresh off the turnip truck. I have done this before and I wanted to discuss options and he just wants results. After all, he's "been doing this for 26 years and he knows what he's talking about!"

So, please pray for my babies. I want to be able to nurse them and I want them to fatten up.

More Sleep...

I fed the babies around 10:30 pm last night. They were back in their bed by 11:30 pm.

I ended up putting Henry in the bed with me around midnight, maybe a little later.

We all slept until after 4 am, almost 4:30 am. I woke up before they did b/c of the pain from not nursing.

We were all back in bed by 5:30 am. Henry in the crib and MC in the bed with me, I think. It's already a vague memory.

We got up and nursed again at 7:30 am. They had a horrible morning nap, which is why I'm writing this so late and I've already forgotten some things. I nursed them at 11 am b/c I was trying to get them some sleep, but MC just wasn't having anything to do with that at all. Henry was fussy too, but finally got about 30 mins of sleep.

The problem with no nap is that as soon as you have them nursing they fall asleep and it's a vicious cycle of bad feeding, no nap, bad feeding, etc... So, I try my hardest to get them to sleep for 2 hrs in between feedings.

Hopefully they will nap better this time.

Another Night...

So, last night went well but only because I shared my bed again...

I feed the babies at 11:00 pm. They were back in bed by midnight. Henry would not settle down at all, and had been difficult most of the night already before the 11 pm feeding. So after about 30 mins of trying to intervene, I put Henry in my bed.

Around 2 am, Mary Catherine woke up. I should've fed them both, but since I only had been sleeping a little over an hour, I pulled her in bed with us.

At 4:30 am I woke up. I was in pain from not nursing. So, I got set up to nurse, which takes some effort-pillows, waterproof pads for changing, pacis for after, diaper stuff, remote control, water bottle, use the bathroom, etc...

The babies nursed for over 45 mins. We were finished by 6 am. I slept until 7:30 am and then got up to get the big kids dressed for their day at the museums with my mom.

I fed the babies at 8 am and MC is waking up right now as I finish this sentence. Henry had a bad nap again this morning, so I was waiting as long as possible before waking him, but oh well. It's time to rise and shine!

Bedmates...

Well, the good news is that I got more sleep last night.

The bad news is that I slept with the twins in my bed. I know some of you co-sleep and that's fine for you, but this is not something I want to continue to do. I want to sleep with J, not two little bundles of baby.

Of course, J won't sleep with me yet b/c apparently I still snore. I'm not sure if it's the extra weight or the exhaustion, or maybe both.

So, this is what their schedule was like last night.

I fed them at 10ish. They woke me at 2:30ish. I had them back in the crib by 3:30ish, but Henry would not settle down. At 4 am, I pulled him into my bed. Around 5:15 am, Mary Catherine started to cry. I noticed I had only been sleeping for a little over an hour, so I decided to try to hold her off as well, so I pulled her in the bed between Henry and me.

I knew it had been 3 hrs and they should've eaten, but once again the need to sleep overcame.

I woke up around 6:30 am from the pain of not nursing, but dozed until 7 am and then woke them up. They were so hungry that they ate for 45 mins!

So, I got about 5.5 hrs of sleep! (and the babies missed a feeding...oops.)

Little Stinker

Last night went almost as well as the night before last. The babies ate at pretty much the same times and I was able to sleep in between for 1.5-2 hrs. It wasn't as much sleep because MC would not settle in the crib.

I got up one time each 'nap' and try to settle her and give her a paci, but when she fussed again I put her in the bed with me. Of course, she slept like a champ next to me. Sleep is more important to me at this point. I will do whatever it takes to get sleep.

I hate to be stereotypical, but MC seems more high maintenance to us already. :)

The latching on issues are mostly better, but MC had a hard time at the 5:30 am feeding today. I don't understand it. She fusses and fusses and then all of a sudden she decides she'll latch on ten minutes later.

During the day they do well. They are up about an hour or less before I put them back down for naps, this includes their feeding. Their feedings were taking about 40 mins, but now they are more like 20-30 since they are getting better at nursing.

I follow the rule that as soon as they fuss after feeding and a diaper change, they are down for a nap. It has worked very well with my other three children and it is working for the twins already.

I appreciate all the people praying for me. This is hard work, no doubt, but it is going as well as it can be going.

~thank you~

Better and Better

Last night was the best night yet.

The twins ate around 10ish without latching issues! It makes the feeding go so much smoother. It still hurt like the dickens, but there's nothing I can do about that aspect. Just imagine putting that sensitive part of your body in a little tiny vice and opening and closing on it.

They slept well until 2ish. One twin (H?) woke up first and I put the paci in trying to wait for the second twin. It lasted about 15-20 mins and then I felt bad, so I got them both up.

They latched well again, and slept well until they woke up around 5ish. Once again, I tried the paci for a 15-20 min delay.

I was able to get about 2 hrs of sleep in between feedings, plus an additional hour after that last feeding.

I would be thrilled if this happened every night until they start dropping feedings. This is the best it can be really at this point.

Alone...

The twins slept in their crib last night! I was all alone in my bed for the few short hours that I actually got to sleep.

A few changes that I made that might have been the difference.
~I swaddled them in a kiddopotamus fleece wrap under their usual blanket wrap. I suspected that they were chilly because our house has been colder than usual with company here helping. I also am having trouble keeping their arms in their wrap, and those swaddleme kiddopotamus wraps are tighter.

~I turned on their sound machine to a setting that sounds like 'in the womb' to me.

So last night this was their schedule:
8 pm eat

11: 15 pm eat, but someone had trouble latching so really it was awhile before we all got started. I think we were finished around 12:30 am and back in the crib. It's already a hazy memory for me. Of course, after they are in bed, I pump, take the milk to the fridge, wash the accessories, use the bathroom and get in bed, so that's another 30 minutes.

3:00 am H woke up and I gave him a pacifier. It was really time for them to eat, but I was so tired. He lasted until 4 ish and then we started it all again. We finished it all by 5:30 am. I was back in bed by 6 am.

7:30 am eating again and starting our day...

I know for most this isn't interesting, but for a first time mom, this is gold. I know because I have been first time mom and you want to know EVERYTHING. Also, I want to attempt to keep journaling for the twins. It is their only chance at a baby book.

I will post pix of the babies in their wraps when I get a chance. I'm going to go squeeze in a nap. I'm all alone with all 5 kids for the first time. Everyone is lying down for rest.